The Quarter Life Crisis: An Update

I’ve asked myself and other Muslims this question: If you could be in front of the Ka’abah every single day to ask for God’s forgiveness and blessings, would that be enough to make you happy for the rest of your life? Or would you still want more?

I’m a great believer that everyone is in search for something paramount in their lives.

This search is reflected in everything that they do. It is reflected in the steps that they take and the choices that they make. My quarter life crisis was (and sometimes still is, I think it comes and goes) all about figuring out my search is. I’ve contemplated on how the world works and the way people treat each other these days. 

The cycle of life, survival of the fittest, the rat race.

This culture we live in has taught us that life is just one big competition. I’ve seen greedy people destroy the lives and futures of others, and indirectly and ironically their own as well, because they want an ego boost, power, money, a higher ranking social status and the approval of others. They satisfy their desires without thinking about the consequences of their actions.

Corruption (sins and disobedience to Allâh) has appeared on land and sea because of what the hands of men have earned (by oppression and evil deeds), that He (Allâh) may make them taste a part of that which they have done, in order that they may return (by repenting to Allâh, and begging His Pardon).                                                                               (Surah Ar-Rum: 41) 

Popular culture doesn’t want us to feel good about ourselves and without even thinking about it we’ve become absorbed in an unhealthy way of life and thinking. Everyday we’re running, rushing, pushing and struggling to achieve all kinds of dreams and ambitions. At times we get too affected and caught up in all of it until we forget.

We forget about how we got here in the first place.

We forget about what makes us truly happy.

We forget about having a purpose.

Or we don’t know. We don’t know how we got here, what makes us happy or what our purpose is.

We all want success.

But who defines it for us and how do we measure it? Is money always the best way to do so?

I think as we grow older it’s important for us to re-evaluate and re-define ourselves and our goals as we go through different stages of our lives. At this point in my life what I really want to do can be summarised in one word.

Simplify.

I've decided that my ultimate search in life is inner peace and contentment. It doesn't sound very ambitious but trust me, anything that involves spiritual improvement isn't as easy as it sounds. I've been working on it and it's like having a tug of war inside myself. Trying to be a simple person is not so... simple. 

I want to be better at balancing my chase for dunya and Jannah because let's be realistic, I don't think I can ever completely abandon my worldly desires. I will always enjoy the finer things in life and some fun and entertainment. At the same time, I yearn for genuineness. I search for it in everything that I see and in the eyes of everyone that I meet because I believe I deserve nothing less than truth and authenticity. Because of that I don't ever want to lose sight of God and Jannah. I believe that the overconsumption of anything can lead to this therefore the balancing act is of utmost importance in order to live healthily - spiritually and physically.

I also believe that there are only two things that truly belong to us in life. Our relationship with God and our spirit. By spirit I don't mean our soul. The spirit is where our drive, free-will and character are derived. It comes from the type of heart you have - good or bad. As Tariq Ramadan once said, "It is not because you are poor that you are good. It is not because you are rich that you are bad.  It is what is in your heart." Think about it, everything we have can be taken away in a split second. Nothing lasts forever in this world and there’s nothing we can do about it. However, we will always have a connection with our Creator if we choose to have it and strengthen it. We will always be strong-spirited if we believe in ourselves and in Him.

These two elements also define who we are, unconditionally. It's not the family we come from, the clothes we wear or the house we live in. Sure, these things help to build our image and form our identity but they don't define us. When you think about the person who has touched your heart or inspired you in life I'm sure you'll agree with me when I say that it most probably had nothing to do with their wealth or looks, or anything like that. And when we face Judgement Day someday, Allah surely will not judge us on the basis of such superficial things either.

O mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that ye may know each other (not that ye may despise each other). Verily the most honoured of you in the sight of Allah is (he who is) the most righteous of you. And Allah has full knowledge and is well acquainted (with all things).                     (Surah Al-Hujraat: 13)

What I've learned from my quarter life crisis is that I'm not going to have my whole life figured out at the age of 23. What I do know is I don't want to live my life according to other people's standards. I don't want to take part in any social climbing competition. And what I can tell you is I've done all this before and it didn't lead me to a happy place at all. I just want to make the most of my life by being a good person, having passion for all that I do, staying true to who I am and by simplifying life as much as I can. Hopefully enough to say, "If I can pray in front of the Ka'abah everyday to ask for God's forgiveness and blessings that would be enough to make me happy for the rest of my life."