Faith Friday: The Born-Again Muslim

Just the other day I was chilling out at my friend's house when one of our friends walked in and saw me without hijab for the first time in a very long time. "It's like the old Sha again!" she exclaimed. 

Lately people have been asking me why and how I decided to change and become a "religious Muslim". (By the way, I don't consider myself more pious or religious now. More dedicated and spiritual, perhaps.) Some people assume that this change was motivated by a bad life experience. I understand why they would think so. Many people who go through this change usually went through something horrible to make them turn to God. That's not my story. Well not entirely. I did lose my Dad and it was life-changing but it wasn't enough to make me take that huge leap of faith.



My story began as I started learning about Islam purely for the sake of personal interest when I moved to New Zealand 8 years ago. Prior to that, Islam was something I learned to accept because I was born into a Malay Muslim family and studying about Islam was mainly done because I wanted to pass the Pendidikan Agama (Islamic Studies) subject in school. When I was a high school student in New Zealand I took advantage of my sister's access to her varsity's library and its vast collection of scholarly books about Islam. One of the first books I picked up was Islam: A Mosaic, Not a Monolith authored by Vartan Gregorian.  I was very intrigued by the title of the book.  After reading several books, attending Islamic talks by prominent scholars such as Sheikh Yusuf Estes and Abdurraheem Green, and befriending Muslims from around the world, slowly and gradually I gained an understanding of my faith that I knew wouldn't have if I had never moved to New Zealand. 

Although my knowledge and comprehension of Islam increased, it took me six years to whole-heartedly embrace Islam and commit to becoming a practicing Muslim. It wasn't easy but somehow it became easier with time, alhamdulillah. And I'm sure people wonder why I wanted to change in the first place. I did it for various reasons but they are connected to one very simple reason - I felt very thankful to God, Allah subhana wa taala (the Sacred and Almighty). It's true what Imam Suhaib Webb said: "The head of servitude to Allah is to be thankful." 

Have you seen this video of Beyoncé?

I asked myself the same questions too.

"Why did God give me this? Why did He give me this life?" 

A lot of good things started happening in my life. Long story short, after returning from an Umrah pilgrimage to Mecca and Madinah I felt so grateful that God wanted me to be His 'guest' despite my lack of devotion to Islam previously. But my gratitude towards Him was so overwhelming I could not ignore it. I could not not do anything about it. I looked at myself differently. I looked at my life differently. I looked at the world differently. 

Yes, I do miss the old Sha sometimes as I know some of my friends do. But whenever I feel that way I  just remind myself that the old Sha is still there. She's saving herself for someone special. She is learning. She is struggling. She is growing. She is shifting her priorities in life. More than anything else, she is eternally grateful for the way God has orchestrated her life. 

And so today I ask you, what are you thankful for? Isn't it enough to make you wonder how it all came to be? Isn't it enough to make you want to change for the better? 

 "When you feel the need to turn back to God, this is the clearest sign that God has already turned to you." 

- Imam Suhaib Webb in 'Giving Thanks' (courtesy of the ISBCC)

Taken with Shaymaa on my first day of officially wearing hijab.

10th March 2010 - 10th March 2012

2 year hijab anniversary, alhamdulillah! 

Please pray for me to be steadfast in my deen. Your duas are greatly appreciated =) 

"O our Lord, do not suffer our hearts to go astray after You have (rightly) guided us,

 grant us mercy from You, for verily You and You (alone) are the ever Bestower." 

{Surah Ali Imran, 3:8}