Faith Friday: The Muslim's Guide to Love (Part II)

credit: s2sphotography.com

So the wedding excitement is over. You’re back from your honeymoon and this is when reality kicks in. How can you continue to be happy as a couple in the years to come? With divorce becoming increasingly common, it can be a scary thought. Mufti Menk’s solution is simple: Be God-conscious at all times and know that you are going to return to Him one day.

He created the heavens and earth in truth and formed you and perfected your forms; and to Him is the [final] destination. He knows what is within the heavens and earth and knows what you conceal and what you declare. And Allah is All-Knowing of what lies within the hearts. {Surah At-Taghabun, 64: 3-4}

In the chase for dunya, sometimes we forget who we are and the roles we are committed to. Everyone makes mistakes so make today the day you start taking your role as a husband or wife more seriously. Don’t let your marriage slip between your fingers. You will be accountable for it in front of Allah (subhanahu wa taala) one day.


Clothe One Another

One particular verse in Surah Al-Baqarah caught my attention and it’s amazing how Allah (swt) can be so succinct and comprehensive at the same time.

“…They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them.” { Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:187}

In this verse, Allah (swt) uses clothing as a metaphor to draw a comparison between the functionality of clothes and the purpose of marital relationship in a person’s life. On one hand, the tangible function of clothing is to provide warmth or coolness, comfort, protection, concealment and adornment. On the other, its intangible function is to reflect the person who is wearing it. When you see a person one of the first things you will notice about them is the clothes they wear. Naturally, people use clothes to portray a certain image and to send message about who they are. As a spouse, you are consciously and subconsciously doing all of the above, or you should be, except in a different sense of the words.

source: themuslimbride.com

When your spouse is in need of assurance and support you should embrace them warmly like how Khadija (may Allah be pleased with her) embraced Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who trembled in awe and fear after he received his first revelation from Allah (swt). One of the most important roles of a spouse is to provide ease and tranquillity when they need it the most. This also means allowing them some time and space to ‘cool down’ after an argument.

As a spouse, it is also your responsibility to protect them from physical, emotional and spiritual harm. Protect your wife or husband from the dangers of this dunya and the akhirah. Sometimes this means giving them nasiha (constructive advice) in a kind manner when you see them doing something wrong or against the teachings of Islam. Additionally, conceal your spouse’s weaknesses instead of making fun of them in front of friends and relatives even if you only meant it as a joke.

Occasionally, clothes need to be altered for various reasons. This doesn’t mean you should change who you are merely to please someone else. It simply means that sometimes compromises have to be made and egos have to be placed aside to preserve something as sacred as your marriage. Be patient and understand the needs of your spouse. Clothes say so much about a person. Similarly, most times your spouse’s well-being says a lot about who you are as a husband or wife. If you know how to care for your finest garments, you should also take proper care of your spouse.

The clothes you wear are also a form of adornment and therefore it is something that adds beauty to your life. Although marriage will come with its trials, it is also a mercy that Allah (swt) has given us to bring happiness into our lives. So be married and be merry. Don’t make each other miserable. Like clothing, your relationship with your spouse is also a means of worship. Make the most of everyday and please one another for the sake of pleasing Allah (swt).

Husbands, always remember this verse: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women because of what Allah has preferred one with over the other and because of what they spend to support them from their wealth.”{Sûrah an-Nisâ’: 34}

And wives, remember this hadith: The Messenger (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said, “If a woman observes her five daily prayers, fasts during the month of Ramadhan, guards her chastity and remains faithful to her husband, she may enter Paradise through any of the gates she wishes.” {Ibn Hibban – Hadith Sahih}

{Read the full article at MuzlimBuzz.org}
{'The Muslim's Guide to Love Part I'}

P.S.  Here's a great video about love and marriage in Islam. Jumaah Mubarak ;)